Insult yourself

Here and here.

Things a theologian shouldn’t do

Ed Aczel has a list of what a stand up comedian shouldn’t do but it applies remarkably well to theologians too.

Missed titular opportunities

The will to shower.

Repetition and Repetition.

Posterior analytics (oh, wait, that’s real).

Aphorisms 2

I watched Mel Gibson’s The Passion recently but made the mistake of eating a kebab at the same time. It did make me think though: the eucharist is all high GI foods. Clearly God disagrees with low-GI diets. That’s why there’s so much fasting required by the church.

Also: you know you’ve been in academia too long when you can remember someone’s thesis topic and supervisor but not their name.

Food Meridian

The kid chopped the vegetables as if desecrating some secret argosy belonging to the lost gods who suffer no theft and execute their jurisprudence in blood and death alone. The judge entered the room. He spat. 

You cant be here he said.

Can’t?

No.

The kid spat. Why not?

Because my philosophy gains its credibility from its locations amongst only the most sedulous murderers and most base civilizations. It cannot survive charity nor the least permanence of enduring civility.

Not my problem said the kid spitting.

Everyone’s an idealist if they think about it

I bet idealists love saying, ‘if you think about it,’ at the end of sentences. ‘That’s a nice cheese if you think about it.’

How many Hegelians…

…does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but that’s a diversified, internally complex unity.

How to help Children in Need

Simply reduce the age at which people are classified as children and thousands of children in need will disappear. It’s a statistical fact.

Aphorisms

I try not to be vain. It’s not an attractive quality.

I’m quite proud of how humble I’ve become.

If I could flick a switch to change one thing about myself I’d make myself more patient.

Hegel Bagel

Today, whilst taking a break from reading Hegel, I ate a bagel. I took an abstract, undifferentiated bagel and found it dirempted itself when I cut it in two. As it came out of the toaster I found it had been truly Aufgehoben: the bread had disappeared, yet its soft texture had been retained within the outer crust and lifted up into an altogether more sublime synthesis: toast. Its being-for-itself was now united with its being-in-itself. This, in turn, raised my level of consciousness as I became aware of myself: I desired the bagel, and when the bagel was gone I was aware of myself as satiated. I had objectified my consciousness in the world through work and proved myself worthy of recognition.